Sunday, September 2, 2012

2. On Stranger Tides

This is a great improvement from its predecessor complete with Spanirds, Blackbeard, and Mermaids. First what they did right:
-The epic chase scene at the beginning of the movie.
-Jack's duel with himself.
-Barbossa's peg leg.
-The Queen Anne's Revenge.
-The prophecy.
-The Mermaids (though they should of called them sirens).
-The Fountain of Youth.
-The chalices.
-The spanirds.
-Destruction of the fountain.
-Death of Blackbeard.
-The minature Monkey.
Now, what they did wrong:
-Ships in bottles.
-A voodoo doll surviving a fall "ensuring" that Jack will survive too.
-Entering the Fountain through a watery ceiling.
-The random water droplet.

Sunday, August 26, 2012

3. Dead Man's Chest

This movie is superior to its follow up and very good, but its still not the best pirates movie out there.
First what they did right:
-Davy Jones.
-The Flying Dutchman.
-The Kraken.
-The hunt for the key.
-The battle at the mill.
-The jar of sand.
-The undead monkey.
- Cutler Beckett.
-Bootstrap Bill.
-Washed-up Norrington.
-The sinking of the Black Pearl.
-Will having to find the compass for Beckett and the key for Jack to save him and Elizabeth.
Now what they did wrong:
-The pointless endeavor at the beggining of the movie where Jack steals a piece of paper.
-The cannibals.
-The skeleton jail cells.
-The killing off of everybody but the main characters.

4. At World's End

All the Pirates Movies are good, but this one is far from great.
What they did bad:
-Firstly, how did Barbossa, Gibbs,Will and Elizabeth get all the way to Singapore without a ship???
-Secondly, why is Beckett randomly hanging pirates left and right? What's even more puzzling is why the h he wants them to sing.
-Thirdly, the Singing Pirate has absolutely nothing to do with the rest of the movie.
-Fourthly, the bald guy from Singapore turns over his whole ship to Elizabeth (who he thinks is Calypso)!!! This guy is not very smart.
-Fifthly, a bunch of dead people are seen just floating there. Which is like saying "Hey, the afterlife is just sitting on a rowboat for eternity."
-Sixthly, they killed Governor Swan off for no reason. He didn't die a heroic death, he died offscreen because he had argument with Beckett.
-Captain Jack's clones. I don't even need to say how dumb that is.
-Why is Davy Jone's Locker a sandy beach? I don't know, apparently a sandy beach is scary now a days.
-What's one step dumber than pirate clones? The answer is Rock Crabs. Rocks that turn into Crabs.
-Why do the rock crabs help the Black Pearl into the water? Beats me.
-Did they even need to go there?  Jack escaped by himself with the help of Rock Crabs.
-How does flipping a ship over help get you back to the real world? It just doesn't make sense.
-How is Elizabeth all the sudden a pirate lord?
-Why does Calypso explode into crabs?!?
Now, what they did good:
-The battle in the Maelstrom.
-The epic fight scenes.
-The Endeavor's cannons.
-The royal armada.
-The brethren court.
-Jack's father.
-The pieces of eight.
-Davy Jones.
-The Flying Dutchman.
-The strangling of Mr.Mercer.
-Will and Elizabeth.
-Will stabbing the heart.